My Mates

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I turned forty and my life changed. I turned fifty and my life changed. How often have we heard this. What is it about this age group. The thing is it is not always plain sailing. We would have faced some unexpected moment and that really changed our lives.

Often we discover in the forties and fifties that people feel much more confident about themselves .Kids grown and on their own track. Mortgage finally over or at the verge of finishing. Relationships feel stronger than before. Some even retired if they are lucky.

We are not used to taking a pill everyday but then you are told blood pressure is high , cholesterol is high , bordering on diabetes or have diabetes and suddenly there are at least three or four pills to take. Oh my word – I will tell my husband but none of my friends should know . People will think I am unhealthy and I am getting older . The biases that we have created ourselves . And by keeping it a secret affecting your health more . For all you know most of the mates are getting on a bit and secretly taking that pill. What’s the shame I don’t get it. Like it or not nobody is going to be young all the time.

People take antidepressants and anti anxiety pills but feel ashamed about taking them . Really, what is the taboo. The more you talk about them easier it is to handle the problem. Some may even have actually gone through a serious diagnosis and come out of it. So brave to be honest. Cancer is becoming more and more common and suppotive environment definitely helps. Its the pity sometimes that can hold us back. But patients dont need your pity they need to see a reason to smile and share the pain.

We can judge each other so quickly. Society is so harsh. They don’t let you grow properly and enjoy life well. A partner or spouse may have died,or relationship broken down after all these years of tolerating each other, so what. Alcohol and  smoking people may do secretly but not in front of parents,especially in some Indian households-respect is the excuse. I don’t get the hypocrisy. People are really living a double life. Don’t get fooled by all the happy holiday photos on Facebook, everyone is the same. 

Hey, I really feel people could live a more truthful life and be nonjudgmental about the next person. You can’t know why a person behaves in a certain way, and no good you making assumptions. You may not have shared the experience thay have had to go through. Please be kind to each other. Live happily and let others live happily too.

14 thoughts on “My Mates

  1. U nailed it Rishi… 1. All of us, some more, some less, sometimes deliberately, sometimes inadvertently, at times judge others… Family & friends do too at times, thus we hide things from them… 2. Yes, aging is a factor that freaks out many, but it needs to be accepted & enjoyed… 3. It’s difficult to do , but important to talk about things that maybe not so comfortable. Example – issues like depression are at times not accepted by the person & brushed aside by the family… 4. May not be possible all the time, nevertheless, it’s important to break free and live ur life. After all as famous economist John Maynard Keynes once said – “In the long run we are all dead”…

  2. Well said Rishi 👏👏👏 . If only we were less judgemental and more accepting and braver ! !! Your writing is very thought provoking !

  3. Well said, Rishi! The fear of the society or what others will think weighs on our minds so much all the time. There is one face for the world with the mask on, and another that one’s heart knows. Social media only exacerbates.
    See, you got us all going! 🙂
    And I love this big font!

  4. Deeply touched!The society can really be harsh at times….the so called close circle of family and friends can be so judgemental.They rapidly draw conclusions when they have no idea as to what the other person might have been through.Your blogs certainly boost up the confidence levels because I know these thoughts are coming from a very sensitive and sensible person.Keep on doing the good job

  5. Just loved this.True it seems that the dual life is more stressful,as if there is a report card to show at all walks of life.. But I think the older we get, the more sorted out we are

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