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“One thing you can’t hide – is when you’re crippled inside.”

John Lennon


A friend is in pain with her wrist , she felt it would be easier to die than live with that pain. Thats a hard thought to get over. Sending her links and advice on Whats App from hundreds of miles away ,is not helping. She has finally gone to see the doctor . Hope she gets sorted soon.

Physical pain hopefully will be dealt with, thanks to medical world. These days websites have a great deal of information and mostly they help. Keeping active is so important to deal with arthritis pain. I keep telling my mother to walk. She has difficulty walking due to one foot problems but she tries hard. Uses a wheely frame to walk or holds on to banisters. Never thought getting old was so difficult and it is painful to watch. I send information leaflets to relatives and friends from NHS websites and arthritis UK websites- they have helped a few of them especially with muscular back pains.

Emotional pain is a the hardest pain I think. That really cripples you. Sleep, appetite, concentration, happiness all gets affected. Needs to be sorted before it leads to further issues of pathological depression and anxiety. An older couple once told me – “it is easier to deal with pain by looking at others. There is always someone worse than us.” It really made me think . It does not make our pain less but definitely makes it smaller. After going through with others difficulties mine does seem much littler. What was I crying out for? What was all that fuss about?

We learn to cope with it all. We have to. Inner strength will help. When I get shot by somebody I know – I mean not actually shot but the same impact which could be through words or actions, that is the most painful. I feel ashamed of how and why this happened. I believed in the person or system and it failed me so badly. I could swear but I won’t. Betrayal is bad. Getting over stuff like this leaves us with a bad taste . People say forgiveness helps. Why should it be me always. But important thing is- if I forget and forgive -I can move on and look after myself. Me becomes the priority here and do whats good for ME.

If you are the victim, you need to look after yourself. But inital reaction is always of revenge .Punishment for the perpetrator takes hold of us. But what I have learnt is the victim needs to look after themselves first otherwise the pain gets worse . Look after youselves, get help, think about others in need, and make yourselves happier.

19 thoughts on “Pain

  1. The most important message which I got was that ME is important……had really put myself in the backseat in the turmoils of life.Thank you dear friend for the much needed booster😊

  2. I appreciate your thoughts on this. I have Multiple Sclerosis and live with chronic pain. The way you described how emotional pain affects every part of you is very similar to what living with chronic, unresolved and sometimes unbelieved pain is like. It’s absolutely exhausting. Might I refer you to something called “The Spoon Theory”? If you Google it you’ll find the story or the explanation of it. It may be helpful in understanding and dealing with your friends and family who also live with chronic pain. It was written by someone who suffers from Lupus, but may be applied to almost any debilitating disease. I also deal with chronic anxiety and depression so I’m familiar with what those things can do to a person, and your description is accurate. As far as helping oneself, it’s similar to what they tell you in the safety instructions in an airplane: “If the oxygen masks deploy, first put on your own before attempting to help anyone else.” You can’t help others if you can’t breathe.
    Thanks for your words and your thoughts. They matter.

  3. Thank you so much for the post. We all suffer from pains n aches at this point of our life. I too have pains now n then and sometimes it’s all in my mind. As my dad suffered from osteoarthritis I have a feeling that I might be affected too.
    But as u rightly said ME is the most important factor. both emotionally n physically. Thanks for writing such a meaningful post n inspiring us.

  4. So sorry to hear about the MS but you are a great being and adapted so well. Never knew about the spoon theory-definitely going to use as you suggest. Thank you very much

  5. I live in pain daily but I’m getting chiropractic & massage once a month. Attitude has a lot to do with healing. I exercise (low impact) everyday. I found I was able to do more than I thought imaginable while on the mountains on vacation. Mostly pain free during that time. Wasn’t near a computer. I think my body is telling me I need to retire. Wish I was at that point.

  6. Great post and thank you. I am also in constant pain as I have Transverse Myelitis. I am on many painkillers and other types of medication but I try to stay as healthy as possible. I eat well and mindfully, I rest when I need to as sleep often evades me because of the pain. I don’t like complaining but I know many fit people who moan about every ache and pain. All we can do is try to cope 🙂 Caz x

  7. Great that you try to stay healthy-if you read above comment-you will come across spoon theory -have a look at it .It may help with chronic pain . I read about it on google

  8. A beautiful way to remind us that we all experience pain throughout our lives. It is important for us always to seek happiness 🙂

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