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Dead Now


What if I were to die tomorrow ? So I will be gone.There will be none of me left . Shit man. Shit. But hey it happens. 50 people dead in a shooting , knife crimes, wars, accidents be it car, plane, cruise ship and of course a sudden heart attack or a massive stroke – endless ways of dying suddenly. We have all experienced death. A close friend, family, an acquaintance has died and the most horrible and painful one is a sudden death.

The thought that one day it will be or could be me is a hard one. But its the truth. Why is it hard though. I cried just now. Why. Why cant I let go of life.

I dont know the answers. If you have them , let me know. I think I live my life well enough and do what I want to do. I don’t have much regrets. I still totally don’t want to die. Only old people are ready to die and die happily. What is it that elderly have achieved that I haven’t. Its not they are fed up of life,no of course not. If they are in their nineties-people have lived their lives. So had kids, seen grand kids, some great holidays- not sure if these are the only reasons for living.

I think we fear the pain that we will leave behind. People do suffer, a loving father dies and you will be left behind to cry everyday of your life. We don’t want that. No mother, father,brother, sister had wished that for you. So we shouldn’t.

How do you live a life fully? I have cracked my head enough.You all give me some answers.I just want to be happy so I can say when I am dying that I have lived my life.

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